Careers » dbrand

Why are you here?

I'm part of a cult. I want to work for you. I want to learn more. I have no clue.

It's time for the inmates
to run the asylum.

Killing scientists. Kidnapping the children of CEOs. Destroying the sun. Making Linus G. Sebastian miserable. What do all of these things have in common? You aren't doing them. To be fair, you probably never will. There is, however, an impossibly slim chance that you could. All you need to do? Scroll to the bottom of this page. Read the job listings. Pray that the one you apply for isn't a trap, designed to source our next victim. It's like Russian Roulette, but with an interview process.

start scrolling

Nov 11, 2011

dbrand is founded. This date is not made up.

Feb 26, 2012

David Brand creates a Twitter account, securing his future retirement fund when dbrand inevitably buys it from him.

Dec 29, 2013

Marques Brownlee places a dbrand order. Incidentally, he later becomes the most popular tech YouTuber in the world. (source)

Aug 4, 2014

Linus Tech Tips accepts his first sponsorship from dbrand. Incidentally, he's still the shortest tech YouTuber in the world.

Jan 15, 2016

dbrand purchases their first company car. It's a Lamborghini. (source)

Aug 11, 2016

dbrand's 11,111th tweet is published. (source)

Jan 1, 2017

dbrand sends $50,000 in cash to an unsuspecting customer. (source)

Mar 3, 2017

dbrand reaches the top of r/all on Reddit by telling people not to buy our products. (source)

Nov 5, 2017

dbrand crowdfunds the first incarnation of the Grip Case, raising over a million dollars. (source)

Dec 26, 2017

It's Boxing Day in Canada. dbrand sells empty cardboard boxes for five dollars each. 20,000 people buy them. (source)

May 11, 2018

Frankie Ippolito loses a bet and becomes the first human to get a dbrand logo tattoo.

Sep 13, 2018

With 6,523% growth over 5 years, dbrand is named one of the Top 10 fastest growing companies in the country. (source)

Jan 8, 2019

dbrand launches an invincible screen protector.

Jan 8, 2019

dbrand launches the world's first customizable full-body phone case.

Aug 24, 2019

dbrand commits another murder. This time, there are witnesses. (source)

Sep 20, 2019

dbrand releases Robot, kicking off a paradigm shift towards a line of original, dbrand-exclusive designs. (source)

Dec 2, 2019

dbrand partners with JerryRigEverything to release Teardown skins. A unit is sold every 1.8 seconds on launch day. (source)

Dec 26, 2019

It's been two years since the Boxing Day Box. dbrand decides to sell more boxes. They contain cubes. (source)

Feb 7, 2020

dbrand launches Robot Camo skins. A random Canadian decides to base his entire identity around them. (source)

Apr 1, 2020

Less than a month after COVID-19 is declared a pandemic, dbrand sells the Doomsday Kit. It features a single sheet of the world's most expensive toilet paper. (source)

Apr 21, 2020

dbrand shamelessly plagiarizes Nintendo with (not) Animal Crossing. Miraculously, no lawsuits ensue. (source)

Jul 27, 2020

A random Twitter user asks dbrand for free shit. His wish is granted. (source)

Sep 16, 2020

dbrand convinces PewDiePie to put his signature waves pattern on a skin and promote it to 100,000,000 9-year-olds. It's a resounding success. (source)

Nov 27, 2020

Seven years after buying his first skin, Marques Brownlee collaborates with dbrand on ICONS: the first licensed MKBHD product. (source)

Dec 25, 2020

Sony repeatedly threatens no-name PS5 faceplate manufacturers out of business. Out of sheer spite, dbrand launches their own black PS5 faceplates called "Darkplates". (source)

Feb 12, 2021

Darkplates 1.0 are released with the tagline "Go ahead, sue us." (source)

Apr 1, 2021

In the midst of the COVID-19 pandemic, dbrand empowers people to die on their own terms by selling three masks for the price of three. (source)

Jun 17, 2021

dbrand releases holographic Damascus skins for a limited time only. Additionally, we skin a gun and sell it for $10,000. (source)

Aug 18, 2021

dbrand announces Real Leather skins, killing cows and PETA in the process. (source)

Oct 16, 2021

dbrand pulls Darkplates 1.0 from sale after Sony is granted a design patent for their PS5 side panels. In 48 hours, Sony's lawyers will regret having wasted all that effort. (source)

Oct 18, 2021

dbrand reveals Darkplates 2.0, featuring a new, legally distinct design. Sony's lawyers are in absolute shambles. (source)

Feb 7, 2022

dbrand announces Project Killswitch, the world's first modular case for Valve's Steam Deck. You're welcome, Gabe. (source)

Mar 2, 2022

Alongside Mrwhosetheboss, dbrand begins the biggest tech giveaway in history. Thousands take to Twitter to inform us that their dying grandfathers deserve to win a new smartphone.

Apr 1, 2022

After years of customers claiming they could do our jobs, the DIY Kit proves them wrong. (source)

Jul 15, 2022

Contrary to popular belief, plagiarism is not a crime. dbrand proves it by creating Something: a shameless ripoff of the Nothing Phone(1). (source)

Jul 21, 2022

Teenage Mutant Ninja Pixels. That's it. That's the whole concept. (source)

Sep 14, 2022

Palettes, a collection designed with doctor-turned-YouTuber Ali Abdaal, launches. Psychotic light-mode users around the world rejoice. (source)

Sep 28, 2022

Project Killswitch is released. Within a day, it is recalled. dbrand spends $1,000,000 to redesign the product. All customers have their orders replaced, free of charge. (source)

Nov 9, 2022

The world's richest man attempts to charge Twitter users $8 to verify their account. dbrand responds by selling real-life Verified stickers for the same price. Checkmate, Elon. (source)

Nov 11, 2022

Eleven years after our 11/11/11 inception date, we publish a 100-page, 8121-word, 115-image, 2566-gram Manifesto. It's sure to be banned one day. (source)

Nov 25, 2022

In response to overwhelming consumer demand, we bring back Damascus for Black Friday. To this day, our accountants are still laundering the proceeds. (source)

Jan 7, 2023

Colton Potter goes to Vegas and leaves with a dbrand tattoo. He still won't tell us why he did it. (source)

Jan 23, 2023

The Steam Deck is many things, but it's not a Nintendo Switch. dbrand fixes that with the Switch Deck. Our lawyers continue to resign on the spot. (source)

Feb 15, 2023

Inspired by the success of the Boxing Day Cube, dbrand releases Cubes for every design across our entire portfolio. A random Twitter user makes it his mission to collect them all. (source)

Mar 3, 2023

dbrand announces metal artisan keycaps. Keyboard enthusiasts the world over mourn their wallets. (source)

May 12, 2023

dbrand tempts fate yet again with Clone of the Kingdom. As with (not) Animal Crossing, there's a miraculous lack of lawsuits. (source)

Jun 14, 2023

It's been twenty-six years since you were last truly happy. In keeping with our capitalist exploitations, dbrand monetizes this nostalgia with Retro Darkplates: a 90's era twist on Darkplates 2.0. (source)

Jun 26, 2023

dbrand launches three new skin designs under the Robot City banner: Abusement Park, Crimes Square, and Deadquarters. Collectively, they feature the highest amount of death per square inch of any design in our portfolio. (source)

Jul 5, 2023

David Brand fumbles the bag: dbrand establishes an account on Threads. (source)

Jul 11, 2023

Coinciding with the release of the Nothing Phone (2), dbrand unveils a dark mode variant of Something. Nothing personal, Carl. (source)

Jul 14, 2023

After refusing help from @robot, a customer spends twenty days trying to get our attention. He later wishes he hadn't. (source)

Sep 18, 2023

A prospective job applicant reaches the end of our company timeline. They suspect that they've lost control of their life.

Why work with us?

BECAUSE THE CUSTOMER IS USUALLY WRONG. 01

A simple thesis that has built us a sizable cult following. If conventional wisdom can be challenged, we'll give you the tools (and a paycheck) to find a better way. Working at dbrand means that, if you've got an idea worth exploring, we're not about to let a manager, lawyer, or MBA take it away from you.

BECAUSE YOU HATE JEFF BEZOS. 02

You're in luck: so do we. The way we see it, eCommerce has two roads ahead of it. Down one: a giant, Amazon-shaped vending machine. Down the other? Bespoke, curated, experience-driven brands that know their customers as well as they know their products. Join the team that isn't going to make you piss in a bottle.

BECAUSE YOU WANT A TASTE OF FAME. 03

Viral tweets. Front page of Reddit. Headlines on the Verge. You've accomplished none of these things. Assuming your neurons were activated when you scrolled through our timeline, you already know we can't flip a light switch without generating some sort of conversation. Come be part of something bigger than yourself.

BECAUSE YOU WANT TO KNOW THE FUTURE. 04

Working at dbrand is the closest you'll ever get to owning a crystal ball - except it's not a ball, it's an unreleased smartphone. Also, it's not made of crystal. Point is: whether you’re getting your hands on [REDACTED] or watching an unreleased cut of LTT's next video, early access comes with the job.

BECAUSE RENT IS DUE. 05

If r/antiwork has taught us anything, people expect to be paid in exchange for their time. That's why we make it a point to be upfront about compensation - and why our salaries are bolstered with industry-leading profit-share and GRSP benefits. Time to pick back up your shattered dreams of retirement.

BECAUSE DRUGS AREN'T FREE. 06

This is the contractually-obligated section where we talk about benefits and perks. We can't make them interesting, but we can confirm that they exist.

Why are you here?

We'd like to tell you a story.

...or click here to skip to the job listings.

It's time for the inmates
to run the asylum.

Why work with us?

BECAUSE THE CUSTOMER IS USUALLY WRONG. 01

BECAUSE YOU HATE JEFF BEZOS. 02

BECAUSE YOU WANT A TASTE OF FAME. 03

BECAUSE YOU WANT TO KNOW THE FUTURE. 04

BECAUSE RENT IS DUE. 05

BECAUSE DRUGS AREN'T FREE. 06

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What are you really good at?

Not what you're looking for? We've got other opportunities.

Frequently Asked Questions

Why are you here?

We'd like to tell you a story.

...or click here to skip to the job listings.

It's time for the inmates to run the asylum.

Why work with us?

BECAUSE THE CUSTOMER IS USUALLY WRONG. 01

BECAUSE YOU HATE JEFF BEZOS. 02

BECAUSE YOU WANT A TASTE OF FAME. 03

BECAUSE YOU WANT TO KNOW THE FUTURE. 04

BECAUSE RENT IS DUE. 05

BECAUSE DRUGS AREN'T FREE. 06

00

What are you really good at?

Not what you're looking for? We've got other opportunities.

Frequently Asked Questions

It's time for the inmates
to run the asylum.